If you're applying for an internship, externship, job, scholarship, or graduate school, chances are you'll need a letter of recommendation. But let’s face it: asking for a recommendation letter is awkward and nerve-racking. It's like shooting your shot with your crush; only your career is on the line instead of your love life.
Do Recommendation Letters Matter?
Yes.
A strong letter of recommendation can set you apart in competitive applications by providing insights into your work ethic, skills, and character from someone credible in your field.
According to a National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) survey, 67% of employers consider a candidate's recommendation letters when making hiring decisions. That's right – more than half of employers weigh these letters heavily. They're not just checking boxes but digging for insight into who you are.
And it's not just employers; the Graduate Management Admission Council (GMAC) found that a strong recommendation letter can boost your chances of admission to graduate programs by a whopping 32%.
How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation
Enough with the scary statistics; you’re here because you want an answer to the million dollar question: how do you ask for a recommendation letter in a way that’s professional, effective, and stress-free?
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This step-by-step guide will walk you through the process of asking for a recommendation letter the right way—from choosing the right person, to crafting the perfect request email.
Think of us as your genie in a bottle; we'll even tell you what to say!
Step 1: Choose the Right Person to Ask
Seems like a no-brainer, right? Yet this is where so many people fall short. While it’s tempting to ask your favorite professor for a reference, not everyone you have a good relationship with is ideal for writing recommendation letters.
We recommend you create a list of 5-10 individuals you want to ask, in case only some are willing to. Avoid selecting family or close friends for this task. While they might be able to attest to your ability to burp your ABCs or cook some mean pancakes, employers are more likely to think these recommendations are biased.
Choose someone who:
- Knows you well academically or professionally (e.g., you took a class with them, worked on a project, or did research together).
- Has a positive impression of your work and contributions.
- Is relevant to the opportunity
Pro Tip: If you're unsure if someone will write a strong letter, ask them directly:
"Do you feel comfortable writing me a strong letter of recommendation?" If they hesitate, it may be better to ask someone else.
Step 2: Ask Early (2-4 Weeks in Advance)
People are busy, so give them at least two to four weeks before the deadline. This also allows you time to politely remind them closer to the deadline, rather than coming across as transactional and pushy.
When to ask:
- 4+ weeks in advance for major applications (grad school, fellowships).
- 2-3 weeks for externships or internships.
- 1-2 weeks (absolute minimum) if it’s a smaller request.
Step 3: Send a Professional Request
Your request should be:
- Polite and professional
- Clear and concise
- Provide necessary details (deadline, where to submit, and context of the letter)
Crafting a Personal Message to Your Recommender
A great recommendation letter isn't just about highlighting your qualifications; it's about how well the recommender can advocate for you. This is why crafting a personal message when making your request is so important. Instead of simply asking for a recommendation, remind them of the projects you worked on together, the challenges you overcame, or specific skills you developed under their guidance. This helps jog their memory and provides them with strong talking points when writing your letter.
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For example, if you're asking a former manager, bring up a time when you went above and beyond at work. The more context you provide, the more detailed and compelling your recommendation letter will be. Lastly, expressing gratitude in your message shows that you value their time and effort—making them more willing to help.
How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation by Email
Requesting a letter of recommendation via email requires a balance of professionalism and personalization. Unlike an in-person request, email communication needs to be clear, concise, and polite while providing all necessary details upfront. Keep your message structured with a warm greeting, a direct request, and a brief reminder of your relationship with the recommender. Clearly outline the deadline, submission method, and any supporting documents they may need.
If possible, personalize your email by mentioning specific moments or contributions that made your experience with them meaningful. People are more likely to craft a strong recommendation if they feel a genuine connection to your request. Additionally, keep your email short and to the point—your recommender is likely busy, and a long, overwhelming message may be overlooked.
Letter of Recommendation Email Template
Like we said—genie in a bottle; use this template to get you started on your letter of recommendation request.
Dear Ms./Mr./Dr. [Recommender Name],
I hope you're doing well. I'm applying to [school or company name] and would like to know if you feel comfortable writing a strong letter of recommendation on my behalf.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time as [your relationship to the recommender]. As my [teacher/counselor/manager], I believe you could vouch for my [list of skills or qualifications].
I have included a copy of my resume, a list of my accomplishments and the job posting for your reference. Additionally, if you would prefer, I could write a draft of my letter of recommendation for you to review and approve or adjust if needed. Please let me know if this is your preference.
I would greatly appreciate it if you could write and return the letter of recommendation to me by (name a date at least two weeks before you plan to use it). This will provide me enough time to forward it onto the recruiters and hiring managers at (company).
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
[Your phone number]
[Your email address]
OR
Dear [Recipient's Name],
I hope this message finds you in good health. I want to extend my heartfelt appreciation for the time you dedicated to our conversation earlier today. Our discussion about the [Job/Admission Opportunity Name] at [Company/Institution Name] has only deepened my excitement about the potential to contribute and grow in such a dynamic environment.
As I mentioned, a key component of the application process is a letter of recommendation from a former employer. Reflecting on my professional journey, your firsthand experience with my work makes you an ideal candidate to provide insights into my skills and capabilities. Your unique perspective holds the potential to greatly enhance my application.|
Specifically, I am hopeful that you might shed light on my [Highlight Relevant Skills/Qualities], which I believe align seamlessly with the demands of the [Job/Admission Opportunity Name] role. Your perspective on [Key Skill/Quality] and [Another Key Skill/Quality] would undoubtedly resonate with the selection committee.
To ensure our alignment with the application timeline, the recommendation letter is requested by [Due Date]. I kindly ask that you submit it via email to [Submission Email Address]. I am entirely understanding of any commitments or constraints you may have, and should this request present any challenges, please do not hesitate to inform me.
For your convenience, I have attached my cover letter and resume to this email. Should you require further context or information, please feel free to reach out. Your participation in this process means a great deal to me, and I am genuinely grateful for your consideration.
Thank you once again for your time and support. I am eager to seize this opportunity with the strength of your endorsement behind me.
Warm regards,
[Your Full Name]
Step 4: Provide Key Supporting Information
This is vital! Put yourself in your recommender's shoes. They probably have busy, full-time jobs and other committments so when they sit down to write your recommendation, they need to feel less like they're doing tedious homework and more inspired that they're supporting a go-getter. Provide bullet points of your achievements and make sure you highlight what specific skills they should mention to tailor your recommendation to the role you're applying for.
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Make the process easy by attaching or linking:
- Your Resume – Shows your experience and achievements.
- Your Personal Statement (if applicable) – Helps them align the letter with your goals.
- Details About the Opportunity – So they know what to emphasize.
- Deadline & Submission Instructions – Avoid unnecessary back-and-forth emails.
Step 5: Send a Reminder (If Needed)
If the deadline is approaching and you haven’t received confirmation, send a gentle reminder about a week before.
Example Reminder Email:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to follow up on my recommendation request for [specific opportunity] as the deadline is [specify]. I know you’re busy, so I appreciate your time! Please let me know if you need any more information. Thanks again!"
Step 6: Send a Thank-You Note
After they submit your letter, always say thank you!
A simple thank-you email (or even a handwritten note) shows gratitude and professionalism. You could even include a small, thoughtful gift like homemade brownies!
Example Thank-You Email:
"Dear [Name], I just wanted to sincerely thank you for writing my letter of recommendation. I really appreciate your time and support, and I’ll keep you updated on my application results!"
Step 7: Close the Loop — Even If It Didn’t Work Out
If someone took the time and effort to write you a personalized recommendation letter, keep them posted about the outcome.
We get it—things don’t always turn out the way you’d like them to, and it can be hard to get back to people just to tell them you were rejected. But trust us, it’s more respectful than ghosting someone. If you felt it was appropriate to ask someone to refer you, then you’re making them a part of your journey. Forging real relationships (even professional ones), means connecting with others like a human being instead of simply being transactional. And you never know—just bothering to be open and stay in touch might work in your favor.
It keeps you top of mind, and when people in your network know what you’re looking for and where your interests lie, they’re more likely to remember and refer you when an opportunity comes up that might align with your career path.
Final Tips
✔ Be professional, but don’t be afraid to ask – Mentors and managers expect these requests!
✔ Make their job easy – Provide all necessary details upfront.
✔ Ask in person if possible – More personal than email.
✔ Follow up, but don’t spam – One reminder is enough.
✔ Say thank you – Appreciation goes a long way!
Requesting a recommendation letter as a college student might seem daunting, but with careful planning and respectful communication, it can be a smooth and rewarding experience.
Remember that the relationships you build during college can have a lasting impact, so approach the process with sincerity and gratitude. Following these steps will increase your chances of receiving strong, meaningful recommendation letters highlighting your unique qualities and potential.
